An old friend recently inspired me to write about my experience of Overwhelm as a Neurodivergent person, so I decided to give it a try.

Honestly, it’s pretty tricky to put into words, and it’s definitely not meant to represent how others feel. In my work facilitating others, I’ve found there’s almost a shared imperceptible language especially with neurodivergent people that is hard to express. So I often share deeply personal things to help build layers of shared understanding, even when abstract or poetic.

Ultimately I hope being honest about the more tricky aspects of being neurodivergent (something that I have a plethora of coping strategies for and still have to manage), I hope to reduce stigma and offer connection towards the shared experience of being human through expression.When I talk about this sense of feeling in Welsh, I often use the word Overflowing because it captures the essence of the feeling

Gorlifo

Overflow.

Imaginary tinnitus – a beat in downward run
Body rippling with heat,
Closed-off sky and horizon weight made in pure sunlight.

The flood pours into brackish water, skin deep;
Goosebumps – my neck contorts,
Shivering into distortion;
A pine stack plantation rises in the place where hiccups hide
As ibuprofen skins the tongue and burns the throat.

Chatter and toppling echo across,
Dancing in waves and falling through;
Sun-broken blue and primary colours flare.

She is there in the middle of the road,
Dressed in black in the unseen window.

Laughter pressing across care,
In the belly of dysfunction
Where nobody meets,
Masking to remove their discomfort.

Every word
Echoes around; hard to hold –
Remembering,
Overclocked, layers of yesterday;
Feeling taste, seeing sound

Blended and blurred,
Tone fades, focus drifts;
Like a song off tune
Spiralling the chaos.

We skip their memories and move,
Motionless, awake, dreaming;
Unable to rest, moving through these early hours,
Casting darkness within the void
Into the sticky beige.
Thumbtacks, pins and needles
Across inclined carpet; burnt feet.

Expected to climb
As they raise the gates;
Unwillingly dancing through adrenaline’s spell,
Constant, and made to fall.